Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Its been along time....

Been counting my supreme blessing these days.
Since you have been gone, i have been away
You're bored to death, can't stand the stress
Why do you think I'm such a mess.


Thursday, June 17, 2010


Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Thou shalt use spell check.

I am here.

I have evolved again. I seem to forget that i have this annonmous page, to write my feeling into. Something is quite soothing about writing to no one, or to many, i care not.
Grandious costumes in gloriuos palaces inhibit my dreams. I was never royalty, just a pretty girl looking in. Nor poor, not rich. Not blue collar, not white collar either...but who is labeling whom now?
Do I dream too much? are these dreams silply dillunsions of things i cannot have. My core shudders when i think of anything less for myslef. My heart /feels/ for the ones who have less than i, my new fond /god-ly-ness/ compells me to do so. Yet, i want nothing to do with. Am I less of a good person because i choose who i am good to? Ya see the inner torment now???

I am now reflecting to one wise Buddist,(I cannot recall the name he was given) who once said, in all is wisdom......
"That one will find if he is kind to who is unkind to him, one will see kindness..."

BS>>>>I JUST MADE THAT UP. I have been ever so kind to those who really didn't desreve it, and it bit me in the small white ass(i shall not apologise never more for said petit buttocks) .

I shall confess, i am a fence sitter. I am a God fearing woman, but God does not scare me. I hate violence, but agree with it when it is deemed appropriate. I am am girly girly, a womans woman, and a tomboy. I love women,but cannot stand them. I understand men, but shake my head when they act the way they always will. I am an ardent traditionalist, but don't you dare tell me to go to the kitchen.
I am a hypocrte within myself, but expect the opposite in your morals.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

our words are cast out unto the oblivion we now know as the internet,just in hope that soemone will comsume our words, have the fodder agree with them, and fart it out for the rest of us to smell.

Friday, February 19, 2010

the money saving good for you snack

two good farm brown eggs
two pieces of bread, toasted.
par boil such eggs.smash is half, scoop out said insides
pour Presidents Choice mango Chutney on side.
Sprinkle salt. andpepper.

stop tying said ungredients unto the internet.

EAT. you have apple pie and kiwi slices to devour after

Two crazy lives

SMASH! Bamboozle! (insert Old Scool Batman explixtives)KAAAAA Pow.

The past five days,have been like an episode of the Tudors. The only thing that is drastically different, is my take on the costumes. i enjoy debating if dreesed in period garb. I always thought thatr i could shuield myself from this. This type of woman, who hasn't any repsect for another. The woman who doesn;t love herself, shall not regocognize another womans pure power.

I'm not sure how to deal with another woman breaking inot my home. She waiting until we left, and i put up with this type of beavuior just so i ccan have life knwlege, just so ....I wanted to inflcit the same violation she brought on me. First was Lisa Lagagh, Second was That man that raped me, and finally Tasha Adby haslam.

Three on my hit list now. In the game of chess, a dirty move will always be punished in the end. In the 1890's. they used to lock up those who were constant harrassers. This womans admistted that she broke into my home, and i cannotg do ANYTHING about it.If you had an mental issue, ytou wre not allowed contact with your outsidide world, beacuse you just might break into someones home and try to terriorize some one. The law allows that. They have let it slide.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Miles Davis cures.

My fiesty self i always calmed by Miles Davis. My Mum played this album often when i was a wee lassie. The only thing that is missing is the sound of a Harley kicking up behind it.

My kind of Blue. Music that calms the the Beast

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

I feel like a stupid lil girl now. I feel duped.
Perhaps i should try to not see the good in folk. I imprint my values on the man that i am with,and expect him to live up to the standards i have set for myself.

I am more the man in a relationship. If i was my woman, i would hav protected me from her. I would not hav elet her behavior go on past a month or so.
Given the information i have now,i would NOT have gone there. Tried to see the best of him,but unless he's willing to work with comprimise, no deal.

i was an italian Hells Angel in a past life.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I would love to share the things that have transpired over that past 48 hrs.
Some things cannot be spoken of.

here is is "rundown"

Our break up, was initialted by ValTinesDay. It was merely an excuse to get away from his Family.
My love for him is tremendously strong. I cannot take control, and be the "mama bear" that i am. 18 months of refrain.

A few weeks ago, when we retunred back from town, I KNEW someone had been in my home. This afternoon, i got conformation on that. His ex wife admitted that she, and her mother in law, had waited until we left and broken into our home.

Lesson number 567403. NEVER ignore your inner voice. NEVER

lesson number 567404 Act smartly, never irrationally.

I'm gonna write a book afta dis bullshite.

Monday, February 15, 2010


Won't have any of that drama in my life now. Can say that i will miss him though.
Is it harsh of me to say that I am looking forward to having more money now?
Not only are relationships emotially tapping, they are hard on one's bank account.
He said i was being selfish. I denied it for some time. Now i accept it as the truth, as it is needed. Now, for me. I need to be selfish.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

March 15th
According to the morning crew of 99.3 The Fox(Vancouver), Valentines day is for the ladies. Some folk consider Valentines day a modern Hallmark holiday. based upon that, March 15th is hence forth “Steak and BJ day”.

My beau and i have been together for almost two yrs, off and on. We have been solid for six months now. Albeit, we are both broke ass humans rigth now.And we live one hour away from each other. I didn’t expect anything that included spending money today. We will see each other on Thursday, so all good.

HOWEVER…..I got a Valentines gift on farmville four days ago, today, nada. No nice email, no warmwarming phone call. I called him.

him; morning…small chat….oh Happy valentines day. call me later i guess.

me…oh is that today?(I’m playing it totally cool, after all it is just another day.he’s a great guy,he’s complicated, and i’m sticking by him while he goes through Family stuff, and our relationship is 99%good)

It’s been hours since i spoke with him. No email, nada. niltch zeeee

I was just thinking that today, of all days he would make an effort.

The day has not yet come to a close.

March 15th. Steak and BJ day. I get it. It speaks to the core of a man. wanna show a that you appreciate him? BBQ your man a fine steak dinner. Wear a pretty dress. Do the dishes and suck his cock.

Its give and take in a relationship. It will us anyway. I’m the girliest tomboy you’ll ever meet. He allows me to be the woman I want to be, and I allow him to be the man he is. As manly as he is, he wants his toes painted black,with little skulls on the big toes.

C’mon baby, I cherish and honour your manhood. I show you often, today was the one day you had to honor me.


My beau and i have been together for almost two yrs.
Woke up this morning, to have at least a fucking email, or even possible a facebook note.
called him this morning.
Oh, Happy Valentines day.
me: oh is it that today?

Just call me pissy pants today.

The local rock radio station he listens to says thta valentines day is to honor your woman, and in return, March 15th is Steak N BJ day. We'll see how sealed my lips are after this bullshit.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Thou shall not....

I have been craving Coq au vin for ages now. The dampness of the season is felt deeply in my bones. I braved the blustery day, dashed for the grocery store. I had twenty six dollars cash. It was temping to bring the almost maxed out MasterCard. Sacrifices Miss.
Two chicken breast
fresh basil
white wine Mon Ami rascal 2008 Viognier. A steal at 11 bucks

Separate tenders and halve breasts.
Medium heat in sauce pan, brown in 1/4 butter.
coarse salt and pepper.
when perfectly browned add 1/4 wine.
pour yourself another glass.
simmer until wine is reduced.
turn down to min, place carrots.(quarted length wise 3 cm long)
remove, plate.
drizzle butter/wine gravy.

Tastes like the 100 dollar meal i couldn't afford last night.

I re read my entry from that night.
Wine is not condusive to proper grammar.
thou shall not write and this sorta like drunk dialing?

Thursday, February 11, 2010

We are not even a few day away from The Five Ring circus coming to town. The island i live on is alive. Vancover Island, Victoria. Our hidden gem in Canada. Those that were born here and stayed are few. Those that came when they were young,stayed and kept coming back.
The Olympics are across the water from us. One reserved ferry ride away. They can soak in the BcFerries overpriced crap that I`ve had to consume over the years. Poor sods.
The politics....fuck me. I haven`t registered as a voter in ten years now. I will this year, as it happens, i grew up with a gay fella that is now part of the Liberal Party of Canada. I`m not voting for him, but it inspired me to make my ~ahem~voice count. If he felt convicted enought to his cause, then why shouldn't I?

Pretty fucking deep huh? Maybe not for you, but it is to me. "Think globally,act "with in yourself?"........

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

one two three four get your boogie on the floor.